The Older Generation Begins the Big Retreat  

    Years ago, when I was working with the elderly, one of my goals was to help them become active in their community.  Even though they listened to me and smiled, I was unsuccessful.  I think I finally know why.

    I have now come face to face with the same problem.

 

     As we age, venturing into the community can be uncomfortable because everything has changed or is changing.  The music certainly has changed. The dress of the day seems to be too casual.  Many of the people around me appear to have no manners and show little respect for anything.  We, the elderly, seem to be pushed aside.  Our knowledge and what we know is no longer relevant.  

   This past Thanksgiving, we decided to treat ourselves to a fine dinner out.  We made reservations at what we believed was a fine restaurant with a menu of many dishes that whet our appetites.  I was really looking forward to this. Finally, I could get dressed up in some of my good clothes that have hung in the back of my closet for the last year, wear my fine jewelry and best of all, I did not have to cook and do dishes.  On Thanksgiving Day, we were dressed up in our Sunday best.  We even took pictures to show the children that we were stepping out.  To find the restaurant easily, we entered the destination on the GPS and were on our way. 

   When we arrived, we found there was very little parking, and we were told to park across the street, or the valet would park the car for us.  Since parking across the street looked like we might have to go around the block to get there, and my husband had difficulty walking due to knee pain, we opted for valet parking.

    The car was parked, and now, all we had to do was find the dining room.  This was not a simple restaurant but a hotel and restaurant combination.  Naturally, we came in the wrong door, and a pleasant hostess had to show us to the dining room.  Because we were early, we spent the time engrossed in our favorite sport, people watching, all the time anticipating the taste of the finely prepared food.  

    Other people arrived and signed in with the hostess.  One couple was dressed casually. He wore shorts and flip flops.  She wore pedal pushers and pushed a stroller with a four-year-old child.

   Oh my, would we have to listen to a belligerent child while we ate? 

    A family of six arrived.  They were also not, as we believed, dressed for the occasion.  In a past life, we would have dressed in this manner to go to the grocery store.  Some of my joy was beginning to ebb.

    When we were all seated, I looked around at the rest of the patrons.  There was only one other couple dressed for this occasion of fine dining, and they looked like they were seventy years plus.  

  The food was to our expectations, and the service was outstanding.  

 

     The bright spot of the day was the four-year-old child.  He sat in his chair, did not scream or make a lot of noise. Amazingly, he used the cracking instrument to break open the king crab legs as he ate them.  This was one family that had spent time with their child and taught him proper manners.  On the way out, I stopped by the table and congratulated the mother on her child’s behavior.

    When we arrived home, we talked about how things have changed and how disappointed we had been.  I suppose our expectations were too high.  We put our good clothes back in the closet because we did not know if we would ever try fine dining again.